O my word… back again!

Thank you #Muslimahspeaks, have been wanting to come back here and blog, but being blocked for awhile, I couldn’t find my way back. Today, you showed me how.

I missed me. Here’s to us…My Rabb, my words, my struggles…my me.

Does one really stop returning to its Beloved?

My heart is sick
And I know its cure
But I never take my medication
One always prefer what’s not good for us don’t we?
Hours talking about the worthless
Days amassing to own goods of no value
Yet our hearts are never full
‘Cause it is sick.

The Qalb turns as you feed it
Emptiness…hoping to make it content.
This I Know

And so yet again I journey back
But is this really a journey?
Or yet again an empty venture?
To myself
To fill a blog or to fill my soul
with what it really needs
My Quran needs to be listened to… understood
Admonition needs to fill my heart
My duas… rent the sky
My tears need to wet the ground
My heart needs to heal
Where are the healers?

O my medicine Ya Allah!
Do not forsake me as I continually forsake…and forget You.

Where do I begin?
Acknowledgement, this I do…
Now act! Please Servant act!…before action is expected of you.

I need…help.


Coming home

Do you feel it?
Everytime you drive up home
the doorsteps smells almost like it did when you were a child
the trees look smaller than you remember and may not bear as many fruits
but it still is the place you are safest

You walk down the streets trying to remember old friends
Old hangouts
Almost wishing you would hear them call out your name
You startle with surprise when an old friend of your father struggles to remember you
You smile while you show off your old smile, a spouse, a child…or two
You are favored if he remembers you, recalls old times, asks of your siblings
And maybe shed a couple sad smiles of the ones who have passed on

The home that housed your childhood, the room that was the secret chamber of your naughtiness calls you
You tearily laugh as you remember that dress
That dresser
The bathtub
The old chandalier
Pots, plate, corners, cupboards and the antics you were up to
The sofa is old but still comforts you
This is where the heart is.

Ya Allah, I return
I cannot describe how the above and more engulf me
I shed tears when i feel the ease settle back in my heart
As I return to territories and thoughts that make sense to me
Instead of the fleetingness, brightness of life with its luxuries and promises,
That begin to fade away as I claw my way back
My tears fall heavy.

Why does it take so long for us to come to you each time
Like home, You are in my heart, lingering, longing but I push you away,
Tryng to steal the light of life, a little more I plead,just a little more
and as I loose myself,
It becomes harder to pick home from the corners of my mind and heart
I know you wait for me
remember me
Now and always

I cannot be more grateful that I have this home that waits for me
With its comforts, that will not fade with age
Or forgetfulness, or death
In the end, home is where we will always return
Make it easy to come home often Ya Rabbi
Alone, longing, lingering, in light
comfort, content, safe
To where my heart is…Ya Allah, lead me home.
Eternity calls.

Return to Allah…always


I return

Or make an attempt to

And fail…yet again

The pull of the dunya is real Ya Ikhwaan
I ask myself 

My head is willing…my heart is willing

but why do my actions still fail me?
I try to make dua

…and drift 

To the last conversation I had

The last image I looked upon

The last chore I engaged in

And then, 

In the pauses of frustuation I realise why

You cannot want, without action

You cannot bath in the waters of eeman

and whirl in the dust of Jahannam

Then hope for a miracle

Fool that you are beleiver
You cannot have the frivolities of this world

And want or earn the gems of the Hereafter

Is it not for this that we are warned to surround ourselves

with Halal and unharmful?

Food, drink, company, earnings

If its not untainted

then the journey to return will always fail.
So, start simple.
Leave the late night unhealthy eating 

That make you too full to even recite your night dua

Leave the night entertainment that befuddles your mind

And makes the morning engagement with your Lord mindless

Say goodbye to the ones, who glamorise the lifestyle

you are in doubt of and are trying so hard to leave behind
Engage in less conversation away from the memories of your Rabb

Plan your day with not just your ‘standing’on time

But truly engage your Rabb

Learn about Him…anew and all over again 

Read about the Prophet(SAW)…anew and all over again

Be inspired by the rightoeus ones…anew and all over again

Recite, litsen and understand the Quran…anew and all over again

Return…a little at a time.
Call an old friend or family member.

Make a new friend…give naseehah to someone and in turn, give yourself
But first,

Step away

Walk away 


You must leave before you can return
Return Ya Ikhwaan.

Return to Allah.

Soul Saum 1435AH – Finale

In the name of Allah…

The last 10
On the day of Eid.🙂
Take consolation from the stricken

It is of this life to experience trials

For you who is sick

Is one who is dying

For you struggling

Is one derelict

There will always be someone worse

Until we reach the grave
So take consolation

And know that

Allah is sufficient for us and is the best disposer of our affairs.
Seek help and patience in the prayer

For the one who abandons the prayer

Has lost the tranquillity for the soul

In Sorrow, pain or happinness

The Prayer…The Prayer…The Prayer

Guard strictly your Salat

And have a beautiful patience
Travel and Marvel

At the bounties of You Lord

Call the Adhan in the mountains

Extol His glory amongst the trees

Let the wind and rain lift you

But do not carry the weight of the World on your head.
Do not be ignited by the pettiness and fleetingness of this life

Your worries will always be heavier than

It actually is.

So be contented with what you have been bestowed by Your Lord

For your provision will suffice you.
O Just Nation!

Striving for the middle course!

With the goal in our sight

Of the place in the heavens that no eyes have ever seen!

30 ways of Attaining happinness by Mohammed Ashaayi (completed)
May Allah grant us the blessings of our fasts a thousand fold, by His Mercy!
*Jazakallahu khairan for walking with me💕*

Soul Saum 29

In the name of Allah…

My body aches

And so does my soul

How has the time gone yet again
The days gone by 

In business and contemplation

Alas, how the time flies.
















So many lessons

So many things to be thankful for

O how the time ran by.
Its up to us

To keep time here

and now

The Shaitan and Shayateen

Cannot beat a prepared Slave

Burnt gold from the heat of Ramadhan
Life will try to take over

Seclusions will end

The kids will need tending

Our needs must be met

My dearest ones…

You have to hold on

For with striving in 29

We are emboldened for 365


Have faith

And work!

With just a step

Tahajjud tonight

Alhamdullilah…the time is now!!!
We will miss Ramadhan!!!

Soul Saum 28

In the name of Allah

To  Attain  Happinnes
The 2nd 10…

In the last 10…
Eeman is…Living.

With Eeman, the beleiver knows

That its in the Remembrance of Allah, that hearts find rest.

And so, call to Him.
The Muslim knows that his situation is always good

For in joy and pleasure, he says ‘Alhamdullilah’

And in distress, in need of succour, he looks up and says ‘Alhamdullilah’.
With Eeman, the Mumin knows recompense is with Allah

And behind every cloud, is a silver lining

Verily with hardship, comes ease

And so he is patient

And expectant of good from His Lord.
He stays away from the people and places who do not remind him of this.

Why is seclusion highly recommended for us in this month?

Surround yourself with people and gatherings of benefit

If not,

Stay in your homes!

Guard your senses!

Reflect and Comprehend!
With Eeman, the beleiver is gentle yet purposeful

He gets benefit from the flower without crushing it.

He makes lemonade out of lemons.

Indeed he is the date palm tree, a benefit and blessing to All.
Beware of envy

creeping on your eeman

For you question the Creator

by being envious
Ya Ikwaan, face life as it is

Its good atimes

And bad atimes

But this World is a trial for You.
Eeman is Life

By Allah

For Allah

And with Allah.

30 ways of attaining happiness by Mohammed bin Abdillah Ash-Shaayi

Soul Saum 27

In the name of Allah…
(Long. Bear with me)
To  Attain  Happinnes
The 1st 10…

In the last 10…
The Past is gone

The future is yet to come but

Today is Yours.

Leave your mistakes and worries in the past

You cannot rewind time.

The future is the world of the unseen

Some of us wont make it.

But Today, right now

Own it!

Do it all!

Be nice…kind

But expect no thanks

And not trouble yourself with criticism

Kindness is the musk of the beleiver

Your frown never availed anyone

Not even You

Do it for Allah

Expect criticism

But leave them to Allah for You…

Are Unique
There’s only one of You

Be You…Not anyone else

Everyone else is taken

The Creator made You…

As You


Ponder and Give thanks
Think of the favour of Your Rabb

And use your spare time to 






Beware an idle mind
Know Ya Ikhwaan

That what was meant for you

will never miss you

and what has missed you

was never meant for you.

Do your all, but in the end

It is as it should be.
The Pen is lifted and the ink is dried.

30 ways of attaining happiness by Mohammed bin Abdillah Ash-Shaayi